Going after what you want
As woman we have often been taught from a young age that we are carers, that it is our job to ensure everyone is ok. It is instilled in us to always be looking out for ways we can help others, and as such we have spent a good portion of our lives thinking about what others want.
You often hear the saying, what you practise, is what you become good at. And it is true, so many of my clients can easily tell you what everyone in their family wants, but when I ask them what they want they pause. This is not something they think of often.
What this has meant is that for too long they have put themselves, their own wants last, they haven’t priortised themselves, and when they do it is laden in guilt.
It is why for myself and for so many of my clients, we were only able to create change in our lives when we first stopped and really considered what it was that we want, without judgement or excuses and then accept that we are worthy, and we deserve to have what we want.
For over 20 years I had a very successful corporate career, but it was only when I asked myself what I really wanted, that I was able to determine that my corporate career was no longer what I really wanted, but more about what others expected. It was only when I stopped and really got in touch with what I wanted, that my answer became clear.
For me, I wanted to help more woman achieve their goals, their dreams. Because I truly believe when you empower a woman, you empower the whole world.
Staying in corporate, would have been the easier path for me. But it wouldn’t have been one that I would have looked back and been glad I had followed. As I knew what I really wanted, and so I knew that unless I actively pursued it, then I would know that I wasn’t being true to my real desire. What I really wanted to do is help woman like me achieve their goals. Helping woman like me, finally weight what they want, helping them feel good about wanting to lose weight, rather than ashamed and dismissive trying to pass their want as either unachievable or vain. I then support them as they one by one unlock the ties that have always prevented them from achieving their goal weight for good.
Two obstacles that have previously got in the way of my clients achieving weight loss ongoing are:
Them believing that what they want does matter, that they matter
That to lose weight they will need to prioritise themselves and that doing so does not make them a bad mother, partner, friend
I have found that our obstacles are often just our brain trying to protect us. So to be able to start over coming our obstacles we want to explore what they are protecting you from, what the alternative is and different actions we can take. Below are some questions to help you explore these obstacles.
If you believed that what you wanted matter, what would you do differently?
If you prioritised yourself and your weight loss, what would you do differently?
What is stopping you from doing these things today?
What are 4 things you could do differently this week?
One thing to remember is that our brain doesn’t like change, it thinks change is dangerous. It will do all it can to maintain status quo. So often the obstacle is just trying to protect you from the unknown. By creating more certainty around the unknown, you will reduce the resistance your brain will offer, this alone can make a massive difference when you are trying to create change in any part of your life.
