Morning Routines

I often get asked how I start my day, and over the years it has changed. It used to be roll over grab my phone, check my emails, my calendar, the news and then social media. Promptly after that I would then start worrying about what I had to do that day. I would be completely in my head, running scenarios for work, telling myself I didn’t have time, worrying about not having done enough and then beating myself up for not being present, and not being a good mum. 

From there, I would then drive into work, take calls on my way in and then sit in back to back meetings, race home, cook dinner while checking emails, taking work calls or calling friends to complain about having too much to do.

I would drink wine, eat chocolate, pizza, anything to make me feel better, to numb out the pain.

I would then mindlessly scroll the tv channels, desperately trying to find something to watch. Eventually I would decide on a show that I either loved (and then binge watch the entire series) or couldn’t get into, and so would scroll social, not engaged fully in either activities. Eventually falling asleep, only to wake and do it all again.

My son was very young when I thought, enough is enough. I was miserable, I felt guilt and shame and so started looking at how I could make small changes, so I could feel better. The first change I made was to my morning routine.

Below outlines my 10 step morning routine:

Step 1: 10 minute morning meditation. I have a lot of mental chatter in the morning, and before I find myself going down rabbit holes, or trying to and avoid/block out the chatter with my phone. I now simply turn on my 10 minute morning meditation. I found trying to stop the chatter, or resist it only made it worst. Whereas the guided meditation gave me a way of just relaxing my mind and softening into my morning. 

Step 2: 5 minutes of morning stretches to just release my arms, shoulders, back and inner thighs. Anything to get the blood flowing and to release any stagnation.

Step 3: Hot water with a slice of lemon to drink while I do my thought download - great way to cleanse your digestive system.

Step 4: Thought download. For this I grab a piece of paper and just empty out all of the thoughts in my mind. I find the practise of getting it all out on paper a lot more therapeutic than just letting them run in the background of your mind. I read that your mind is a processor, not a storage facility and so it will keep raising it if you don’t address/acknowledge it. So getting them all out feels like a release, a cleanse. 

Step 5: Review a thought. Once I have emptied out my brain, I look over my thoughts, pick one out and question it. I ask myself, is this thought true? How does it serve me to think this? Why could my brain be wanting me to think this? This practise is great for starting to question thoughts your brain offers up.

Step 6: To do list. I list out my priorities for the day, things I want to get done and then schedule them into my diary. 

Step 7: I write down how I want to show up today, and what I need to feel in order to show up that way.

Step 8: I write down 3 things I am grateful for, one of the three having to be specifically about myself. For this one, I have stopped writing them down, as now my son and I do these together when he wakes up, and we end it with a morning hug. One thing I have noticed over time, is that we both have become so much better at identifying things we are grateful for and on days that I am not feeling great I find it a lot harder, which then signals to me that I will need to proactively look for ways to care for myself throughout the day. 

Step 9: I have my morning tonic - recipe below. This is an amazing way to kick start your digestion. I find I have more energy and feel lighter as a result.

Step 10: I have a coffee and get on with my day feeling refreshed, calm and excited.

Steps 1-7 takes no more than 30 minutes and so I do it before my son wakes. This works for me, as I feel centred afterwards and as a result I don’t engage (as much) in the “I am a bad parent” narrative my brain likes to offer. There are mornings that my son wakes during my morning meditation and so he just jumps into my bed and starts reading until I am finished. An added bonus of this, is that it opens up the conversation about mental wellbeing, something that was never really discussed when I was growing up.

So if you are wanting to make small changes to your morning, I encourage you to try all, or just even a few. What is important, is finding what works for you. If you are grabbing for your phone out of habit, in my experience it is often because you are trying to avoid or suppress something. By bringing it up, acknowledging it and letting it go first thing in the morning, you don’t have it influencing the rest of the day, and for me that made all the difference.