New Year Resolutions
Every year in January I lay out the goals I want to achieve for the year. I break these bigger goals into smaller goals and under each goal I create what I call ‘do goals’. Do goals are actions I need to take in order to achieve my bigger goal. This year, I added another step, which was to look at the past year and assess how I went against my plan and for those goals I didn’t achieve, try and understand why and what I could do differently.
For as many years as I can remember, I’ve had the goal to have toned arms, bum and stomach. My actions were always to find strength video and decide on what workout I would do and commit to 15 minutes each day. I was clear on my action and made it achievable, thinking this would set me up for success. But every year I would make no progress on that goal, and just add it to the next year’s list. Thinking ‘this year things will be different, because I will just follow my plan’.
This year, instead of beating myself up, for having no self control, I instead explored why I don’t seem to follow through with my plan, for this goal. What I discovered when I started exploring why I don’t seem to follow my plan, was that I kept telling myself, “my plan is easy, I know what I have to do, I just have to do it.”
So instead of thinking, “my plan is easy, I know what I have to do, I just have to do it.” I instead started thinking, “what if it isn’t easy, how could I achieve my goal?” When I allowed myself to think that it might not be easy, I started looking for solutions that would incorporate support, such as hiring a personal trainer, or joining a strength gym that had weekly classes I could attend. Suddenly, allowing myself to think that ‘it isn’t easy’ freed me up to consider support, consider investing in support, so I could finally take steps to actually achieving my goal.
And I can tell you, this has been a game changer for me. I’ve already achieved more progress towards this goal, than in the past 5 years. I found a strength gym that has 3 classes a week, that focus on toning upper, middle and lower body and I am turning up to the classes each week. Some mornings I don’t feel like it, but not wanting to waste the money I have paid, is ensuring I am getting to the class. And I know once I commit for more than 8 weeks, it becomes easier, the habit starts forming and I don’t have to manage my brain as much.
It was only once I acknowledged that committing to 15 minutes of strength exercise a week, wasn’t easy for me, that I could open myself up to looking at ways I could support myself. And then I was finally able to take steps towards achieving that goal.
So if you have a goal that you have a plan for, but that you fail to make progress, year after year. I encourage you to explore what is going on for you with this goal. Explore what it is that’s holding you back.
Below are some questions I use to help me get under the surface.
Why do I think I don’t follow through with my plan? List all the reasons that stop you from following your plan. I recommend just free write without stopping, just let yourself empty out all the reasons that pop up, onto a piece of paper.
Look at your list and identify common themes. e.g. Not enough time, I don’t feel like it, I will do it later etc
Acknowledging your themes, and ask yourself, what could I do differently to achieve my goal? How could I really support myself to achieve this goal? Again brainstorm different actions you could take. I like to do this as a free thought download, I just write constantly, so I really allow my brain to come up with all sorts of ideas.
Lastly, ask yourself, if someone I loved was having trouble with achieving this goal, what advice would I give them? Sometimes we can’t access our insight when we are thinking of ourselves, (because we are more practised at beating ourselves up). But it is amazing how clear the answer can often be, when we think about what we would say to someone we love.
I believe that the wisdom of what we need to do, is always is within us. But sometimes it is just a matter of taking the time to ask questions and explore what is going on for us.
I find when I am trying to come up with ideas from a really caring place for myself, I come up with the actions that best accelerate me towards my goal.
So what goal do you want to finally make progress on this year? And what could you do differently, to support yourself in gaining momentum?
As Albert Einstein said: “If you want different results, don’t do the same things”