How to lose weight during the holidays
For years I used to get so frustrated, as I would lose weight during the cooler months, but then come October as we are heading into the bather months, I would find myself at cocktail parties, girls dinners, work Christmas parties, the races, the tennis, always surrounded by food and champagne. Unable to resist the temptations that I was facing, I would slowly but surely start putting on the kilos and end the day feeling bloated, uncomfortable and disappointed with myself. Soon I would switch out the clothes I felt confident in, with baggy linen dresses, hiding away, seeking comfort in Koko Black chocolate coated almonds.
I was always caught, between wanting to look great at these events and not wanting to miss out on all of the treats being offered. I didn’t want to be that girl saying no to the champagne, no to the endless canapés. I didn’t want people to judge me, thinking I am no fun, thinking I am ‘too controlled’. I didn’t want what I ate to be a ‘thing,’ I just wanted to be able to enjoy myself and concentrate on the company rather than on what I was, or wasn’t eating.
As I worked through this challenge, I learnt 3 very important things:
No one is really paying any attention to what you are doing. This was actually a game changer for one of my clients, as she was eating at events purely so no one would think she was weird. As a test, she stopped overeating at social occasions and really focussed on seeing if anyone noticed. Much to her shock, she realised that no one commented, or seemed to notice if she ate or not. Her biggest fear was that someone would comment on why she wasn’t eating and she said they all just carried on like normal. She realised that what had been causing her to overeat in social situations for all those years, wasn’t actually real.
The food and drink does not create connection, it is how present you are. When you are worrying about food and drink, this occupies your mind. It is why we like to eat what we want, because then our mind is free to focus on the conversations. Because of this we have concluded that it is the food and drink that creates the connection. But actually you can experience connection and joy at social occasions without overeating. But to do so you need to be able to keep present, focus on the conversation and people, not on what your brain thinks you are missing out on.
Our brain wants us to go unconscious in social situations, because it wants us to eat and drink everything in sight, as that is what is familiar and therefore what it thinks is safe. It is trying to keep you alive. And this is why it is hard to not eat and drink everything in sight. We all have different excuses, reasons why we choose to eat, but all of these are created by our brain so that you DON’T change what it is used to.
Knowing this, 2 things I do to set myself up for success is:
Tell myself the whole truth about what eating anything I want actually creates. We all know that in the moment eating one more canapé, drinking one more glass of champagne than intended feels good. You get a rush of dopamine, you don’t have constant chatter in your mind, so you can really stay present in the conversations. But this is only half of the story. It only looks at the immediate results, not the long term consequences that are created. These being, the familiar feelings of shame, disappointment and fogginess from overeating and over drinking that you feel the next morning. These are also part of the result that you are creating when you choose to overeat in social situations. But we don’t think of that. We only think of the immediate moment. So if you want to not overeat and over drink in the moment, you need to start looking at all of the results your overeating is creating, both in the short and long term.
Planning ahead is critical in setting you up for success. When we are changing our behaviour, our brain will want to hold us back. It will put up resistance. But one hack to manage our brain is to provide it with certainty. And a great way of doing this is planning for the situation ahead of time. Whilst it may seem tedious, I can assure you that investing a bit of time upfront makes all of the difference in supporting you through these events. When you can imagine yourself at the event and plan for how you will deal with the things that will come up you will feel more confident in being able to take the action that aligns to your goals. You will build your self confidence and respect for yourself, you will be able to trust and feel proud of yourself, and as you do this, this way of behaving will become your new normal and so your brain will no longer fear it, it will no longer offer resistance. And this is where total freedom around food comes in and what’s more you will see over time that it was never the food the created the connection, but rather you thinking about what you were not eating that was causing the disconnection.
If you would like a copy of my Upcoming Event Worksheet to support you for your next event, click here to send an email and I will email you a copy.
